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A wife and her husband were
having a dinner party for some important guests.
The wife was very excited
about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very
last minute, she realized that she didn't have any snails for
the dinner party, so she asked her husband to run down to the
beach with the bucket to gather some snails.
Very grudgingly he agreed. He took the bucket, walked out the
door, down the steps to the beach. As he was collecting the
snails, he ran into a couple of old friends and began to yuck
it up and he soon forgot about his wife’s party ...
It was well past 10 when he remembered. "Oh no!!! My wife's
dinner party!!!" He grabbed his bucket, and ran down the beach
all the way to his apartment. He was in such a hurry that when
he got to the top of the stairs, he dropped the bucket of
snails.
There were snails all down the stairs. The door opened just
then, with a very angry wife standing in the door way
wondering where he's been all this time. He looked at the
snails all down the steps, then he looked at her, then back at
the snails and said,
"Come on guys, we're almost there!!"
Submitted by Don,
Hagerstown, Md.
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Judy was having trouble with
her computer, so she called the computer support staff ...
Jim clicked a couple buttons and solved the problem.
As he was walking away, Judy called after him, "So, what was
wrong?"
And he replied, "It was an ID Ten T Error."
A puzzled expression ran riot over Judy's face.
"An ID Ten T Error? What's that
... in case I need to fix it again??"
He gave her a grin... "Haven't you ever heard of an ID Ten T
Error before?"
"No," replied Judy.
"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."
(She wrote...) I D 1 0 T
Submitted by Linn,
Hagerstown, Md.
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The divorce lawyer began his
examination of a Polish husband ...
Lawyer: Have you any
grounds?
Pole: Ja, ja, an acre and half and a nice little home with 3
bedrooms.
Lawyer :"No," I mean what is the
foundation of this case?"
Pole: "It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," he
responded.
Lawyer: "Does either of you have a
real grudge?"
Pole: "No," he replied, "we have a two-car carport and have
never really needed one."
Lawyer: "I mean, what are your
relations like?"
Pole: "All my relations are in poland."
Lawyer: "Is there any infidelity in
your marriage?"
Pole: "Yes, we have hi fidelity stereo set & dvd player with
6.1 sound. We don't necessarily like the music, but the
answer to your questions is yes."
Lawyer: No, I mean does your wife
beat you up?
Pole: No, I'm always up before her.
Lawyer: Is your wife a nagger?
Pole: No, she white.
Lawyer: Why do you want this divorce?
Pole: She going to kill me.
Lawyer: What makes you think that?
Pole: I got proof.
Lawyer: What kind of proof?
Pole: She going to poison me. she buy a bottle at the drug
store and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read -- it says,
"polish remover
Submitted by Sr. Wink, the Bronx,
NY.
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March 1st Humor Page
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