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Four Years at the Mount

Reflections of a new school year

August 2019

On the joys that lie ahead

Harry Scherer
Class of 2022

As my classmates and I transition into our second year of college, there seems to be a common sentiment of expectation for the unknown, but comfort in the knowledge and experience of the past. This upcoming year will be markedly different for me in some ways but pleasantly similar in other ways.

Firstly, I will be a resident assistant on the same floor on which I was a resident during freshman year. For the sake of myself and, most importantly, the residents for whom I will be responsible, this added obligation and privilege will consume physical and mental energy. I have little idea what to expect for this position, but I anticipate the joys, sorrows, successes and difficulties which accompany it.

By virtue of the position, I will be required to think of persons, many persons, other than myself. This requirement is, of course, incumbent upon all of us because of our humanity, but is particularly necessary for me with these men. The situation makes me think of my aunt, a nurses’ aide, remarking about a colleague: "she’s a solid aide. And that’s about the best thing you can say about the people who do that job." My hope is that the residents think of me at the end of the academic year as a "solid RA", despite my vices and weaknesses.

The year will also be the same in many ways, as well. I will still be going to classes, eating lunch with friends and trying to live the way a college student should. While seemingly innocuous, all of these tasks require interior and exterior motivation, as is the case with any other human action which has any meaning to it. Otherwise, we would not get out of bed in the morning. We have to face the dragon of the unknown every day, without any guarantee that this encounter will be successful. Thankfully, the dragon of resistance from ourselves, others and nature make us stronger and more capable of winning the battle for the next day. Outside of this outlook, the banality of life seems to overcome too many in our own generation in the forms of drug and alcohol abuse, suicide ideation or even a consistent apathy.

These perversions of life itself remind me of my junior philosophy teacher in high school often repeating the meaningful phrase: "Bad metaphysics leads to bad ethics!" Without a proper understanding of who we are, who God is and what our relationship with Him is, we will not treat each other or ourselves with the respect and dignity which we deserve by nature of our humanity.

One of the best things about college, especially in an isolated, rural environment, is the ability and encouragement to talk about things like this. I did not realize at the beginning of my freshman year that I should carve out time to talk about these topics with very knowledgeable people. As an incoming freshman, I was so concerned with initiating social relationships and filling up all the hours of the day with activity that I did not give myself the chance to step back and consider the bigger picture about who a college student should really be and why I am at this college with these people at this particular time. Now that I have had some time during the summer to step back from many of these social obligations and activities, I was reminded of the necessity for time in solitude and silence. In addition, I hope to take greater advantage of the office hours of professors. Every professor that I have had so far has been particularly generous and encouraging with their office hours and it is a resource which I think I neglected in my first year. Also, I would like to spend more time at the grotto. That place of peace is, in my eyes, one of the best attributes of our campus.

After all of these practical resolutions, I still know almost nothing about what will be different about this upcoming school year. Recently, whenever I tell myself that I have ‘almost no idea what to expect’ about a certain experience or encounter, the result is almost always positive. Granted, these reminders are usually said in moments of anticipation and not those of hesitation, but my sentiments for the upcoming year are certainly ones of anticipation. But, what has become more frequent in my routine of mental preparation for these sorts of things is the expectation of suffering and a vague idea of how to deal with it. This seems to be understood even on a natural and secular level. For example, clinical psychologist Jordan Peterson said, "it is not an accident that the axiomatic Western individual is someone who was unfairly nailed to a cross and tortured." While the limitation of Christ to that of axiomatic individual of the West might be myopic in theological scope, the idea of the universality of suffering is still very present for secular society. We should be encouraged to recognize that suffering is an unavoidable part of life and is worth considering even while we are not experiencing it. This might seem unnaturally cynical for a college student, let alone a sophomore college student, let along a sophomore college student writing about the joys and hopes of the future. I beg the forgiveness of the reader, but I want to think like this at this point of my life so that I might be a blind optimist at the end of my life.

To that end, a final hope for this upcoming year is a greater devotion to the ancient prayer of memento mori, remember your death. Our generation would do well to have a greater eschatological urgency with regard to how we direct our thoughts, words and deeds. Memento mori is not a morbid foreboding of our ultimate demise, but rather a hopeful anticipation of the joys that lie ahead.

Read other articles by Harry Scherer


Embracing change

Angela Guiao
MSMU Class of 2021

A new year, a new experience, a new change. As I enter my junior year, I can’t help but look back at my transformation over my time here at the Mount. And, I must say, it is rather grand.

I remember starting out when I was a shy, scared Freshman. I still remember wandering the halls of the AC, trying to find my class despite already being ten minutes late, just because I was too scared to ask someone how to get there. I remember hiding away in my room on family weekend or bonfires because I felt like I was too introverted compared to the other people in my grade.

By the time I began sophomore year, I found I had emerged from my shell. I discovered my love for volunteering, and I made close and supportive friends. I realized how meaningful and fun it is to attend events and feel like a part of something. I finally felt like I was in college. I had gained this sense of freedom and independence that I couldn’t achieve when I lived at home or when I was a freshman.

I started to feel like I could actually make a difference. I understood how my hard work and perseverance could help make a change in the world. And I think that is the importance of college. I think we need to feel this way so that our world can become a better, more inclusive, more loving place.

This semester, as I continue my education and enter my third year here at the Mount, I realized something else. Looking back, I can see how much I have grown. Some of the best moments of my life have already happened here at the Mount, but this year, I understand that I am part of something bigger. I have control of my own life. My own choices that I make are what defines my future.

I am now officially closer to graduating than I am to the start of my college life. And if I am being completely honest, I’m scared. I now have to start thinking about the future. I am starting to wonder about what is going to happen to me when I graduation. What will come next? Will it all be worth it?

I find myself plagued with the questions I believe are on the minds of all my other fellow juniors: Will I be able to get a job? Will I be able to make enough money to pay off my loans? What is going to happen to me when the day comes where I leave the Mount?

Will it all be worth it?

As everything changes this new school year, I am going to keep one thing in my mind: I can do anything I set my mind to. I think a lot of us may need to be reminded that. We are told this as children, but we tend to forget this as we grow older. I think all people crave the same basic necessities. We crave comfort, we crave companionship, and we crave an end goal. We like to feel like we are doing things for a reason, like we have a purpose. And that is what I am going to focus on this year.

I may be getting older, and I may be closer to the day where I’ll have to fend for myself in the real world. But I know that all I have to do is remember why I did this. What is my end goal?

I want to graduate. I want to make my mother proud. I want to make a difference. I want to work at a job I love. I want to make a goal and achieve it. I want to be comfortable enough so that I can focus on things that matter. Overall, alike everyone else, I want to live a life that makes me happy.

This year, I realized that I am in charge of my own life. I am in control, and it is my decisions that will determine my success or failure. I realized how much I have changed. How I have transformed from the small, dependent, scared freshman to this strong, determined, motivated junior.

I learned that I need to work on embracing change. I need to learn to take things and just go with it. I can worry and stress and wonder all day every day but doing so is just not a productive use of my time.

This year as I grow up, as I continue to mature, and as I learn how to prioritize the things which are most important, I understood the importance of learning from your past and working towards becoming a better version of yourself.

We can do anything we want to do. Isn’t that what college is about? We can be whatever we want to be. I feel like we forget about this. This is the foundation of university life. The ideal may disappear in the bustle of school work and tests. It may get lost in the late nights with friends and lunches alone in the library.

But we went to college because we believed that we could make a change. We believed that we could make a difference. We believed we could challenge ourselves. We believed that we could make ourselves a better future. We understood the importance of hoping and believing that we actually play a part in our life. And this year, I want to go back to believing. I want to feel the same sense of excitement and possibilities that I felt when I was freshman. And I want to do so with the complete understanding that anything is still possible.

We may grow older, and we may find ourselves face-to-face with the realities of life, but we should never forget the feeling of hope and blind enthusiasm for life and our possibilities. Let us embrace change together. Let us grow, learn, and continue to believe.

Read other articles by Angela (Tongohan) Guiano


Forever changing

Morgan Rooney
MSMU Class of 2020

Something that many people fear, but I choose to embrace (I try to at the very least) is change. Every day, there are little changes that make the following day different and the day before seeming more of a distant pass. Change is the reason that we can’t look at tomorrow like we think about yesterday. Change creates uncertainty, and uncertainty often makes fear, but change isn’t something we should be fearful of. Of course, we will always make mistakes throughout our lives without exception, but we will move forward in so many ways as well. This is how we came to be in this wonderful (but forever changing) world we’re living in today.

I always try to remind myself that change is not a bad thing. I think, if I always stuck to the same old routines and never did anything different, I’d never live the life I want to live. I’d never achieve those lifelong dreams that I’ve had since I was a child. I would never travel to certain places or make any achievements. I would never grow to become the person that I want to become. I need to do things outside of my comfort zone if I want to grow as a person, and that means making changes and embracing changes.

I’m looking forward to this school year more than any other, not just because it’s my last year before graduation, but because I’m ready to work hard again and start thinking about what’s next. As much as I always say how excited I am to finally finish up school and graduate with my degrees, it will certainly be a difficult change. This is the first time I will ever finish a school year and not have to prepare for more years to come, which is a scary thing to think about because it is not the norm. I anticipate many years of learning to come, but they will never be in quite same way.

As much as we’re afraid of change, it always seems to be what we’re waiting for it our whole lives. We’re always waiting for that next paycheck, or that trip overseas, or until we finally get the job we’ve always wanted. We’re always waiting for that amazing point in our life when we are finally happy and have everything and sometimes, we forget to enjoy where we are. I’ve learned that it’s important to look forward to the future to build yourself up and motivate yourself, but you need to live in the moment as well. It is not the best approach to life to always live in the future.

Something that I definitely need to work on is to embrace change, but not live for it. Some things may change so slowly that I never see anything in a different light, but others will change so fast that I will need to appreciate how things are before it’s gone.

One of the many changes that I have already made this year was moving up to the Managing Editor position at this paper. It has been an exciting and worthwhile challenge that I am looking forward to continuing throughout the school year. The Emmitsburg News-Journal is certainly and experience that I will never forget and something I am extremely proud of.

It will be interesting to meet so many new people once again and move into a different location. I am looking forward to moving back in and continuing what I started while almost making so many new memories along the way. I will be in new classes (including the ones I was dreading and have been putting off until the last year) and I will be living with new people, alike most other students. It’s not as big of a leap as the first-year students who are leaving high school and joining us to get their higher education, but it is still an exciting step towards the next chapter of my life.

This is my last year returning to the Mount which is pretty scary to think about because I don’t have a clue what is going to come next. This is going to be something I will need to carefully figure out along with each course’s workload, but I’m full of excitement for the day I walk across that stage and receive my degree. Receiving my degree will be one of the proudest moments I will ever have, certainly one of the proudest moments I’ve had so far with few things that I could even put in the same category.

Throughout college, my friends have already changed so much. As sad as it is to watch a friend slowly fade out of your circle and out of your life, plenty more will come into the picture. College is a time where you figure out who your lifelong friends will be and which friendships are more short lived and only are in your life for the time being. There is nothing wrong with that. We all need to go into our own directions and everyone may not be along for the ride. Even though these changes happen, this does not mean that they were not valuable friendships that we enjoyed and learned from.

There are not enough stars in the sky to count how many changes will take place during the course of my life. There have been moves across long distances and many travels. There have been times where everything seemed to be going my way and days where nothing seemed to work out. There have been many births but may deaths along the way. There has been so much laughter but many days of sorrow. This is the rollercoaster of life. The best advice I have for myself is something that all of us have heard before: "Hope for the best but expect the worst." I can’t control everything but all the changes that are to come are happening for a reason. It’s so I can learn from them and grow into the person I want to be.

Read other articles by Morgan Rooney


Change: a new way to look younger

Shea Rowell
MSMU Class of 2019

At the end of his life, a family friend made a comment I will never forget. "You only get old," he said, "when your world starts getting smaller." I think about this often, as it is both a warning and a challenge to those who wish to stay young (at heart). Our friend, an active farmer through his late eighties, was advising us to continue actively expanding ourselves, or, in other words, to remain open to change.

The old cliché, "you can’t teach an old dog new tricks," rings true in many cases I’ve seen, but my peers and I, in our early twenties, have no such excuse. Change supposedly comes naturally to the young as a part of normal human development. The young not only adapt to change, we actively seek it out. I, however, have never been fond of the idea that the college years are years of "experimentation," or, even worse, of "finding yourself" by changing who you have always been. These philosophies, I fear, lead a person closer to identity crisis than to self-discovery and peace.

There must be a healthy balance between stubbornly resisting change and flippantly forcing it for its own sake. There must be a way to remain young without, to reference yet another cliché, becoming reckless.

At the end of my senior year at Mount St. Mary’s, I applied to a graduate assistantship at Villanova University’s Office of Graduate Studies. During the interview, one of the interviewers asked, "how do you handle times of change?" While I admit this question was unexpected, I’m glad she asked it, as it gave me the opportunity to reflect on my own track record with change. In response, I recounted my "plan" for my senior year of college, which was to simply remain open to opportunities as they arose. I was wary of over-planning and over-preparing, ultimately forcing myself into a shoe that didn’t fit – a life that was never meant to be mine. Instead, I decided to (sheepishly) answer "I don’t know yet," when people asked me what my plans were following graduation. I decided to apply to every job with an opening, to take the GRE over my Christmas vacation, and to resist the urge to count myself out. I decided to trust God to guide me to the right path. He did.

August 2019 will be a month of great change in my short life. I will travel out of the country for the first time on a week-long trip to Paris. I will attend my first graduate-level English class with new professors, a new university with new classrooms in new buildings and in a new state. I will work my first day at a new job, and for the first time change my official address from my childhood home. The new and unknown are equally daunting and exhilarating. Attempting new things leads to learning new things about myself. I risk learning more about the weaknesses I never knew I had, or failing at a task I have never tried. I also risk realizing that there is room within me to expand, adapt, and maybe even succeed.

I remember my first night on campus at Mount St. Mary’s four years ago. As the oldest of four siblings, I was the first to leave home, and I was homesick and afraid. I couldn’t help thinking about the things I knew I would miss: sitting at the dinner table hearing about my sisters’ days at school; weekend dinners cooked masterfully by my dad; the friendly faces of my high school friends and neighbors. I remember staring at the ceiling while lying in the dark on my Sheridan Hall top-bunk dorm bed, choking back tears, wondering who I was without the people I loved surrounding me each day.

Hard as that first night was, the next day I saw the bright sunshine reflecting from the statue of Mary at the Grotto for the first time, heard the musical toll of bells that marks the hours on campus, and met the strangers who would soon become my best friends. In short, I made the Mount my home. There, I found more people to love, and I soon allowed Mount St. Mary’s to leave her mark on my mind, heart, and soul. Soon enough, I found myself missing Mount St. Mary’s while I was home on school breaks, and longing for classes to start again.

As a new school year approaches, I find myself repeating that same cycle of fear, sadness, and excitement that I went through four years ago. Doubts and apprehensions fill my head: will living so far away from my family cause me to lose touch with them? Will graduate courses be impossible to keep up with? Will it be too difficult to balance academics, work, spiritual life, hobbies, and relationships? Will all the changes be too overwhelming? What if I’m not smart enough, not good enough to make it?

When my mind grows clouded with these doubts and anxieties, there is a prayer I often turn to called the Litany of Trust. One part of the prayer reads, "That not knowing what the future holds is an opportunity to lean on you, Jesus I trust in You." Simple as it may seem, this prayer is powerful. It reminds me, in a moment of frantic introspection, that my life is not entirely about me. God is at the helm, guiding every step, watching as I make mistakes, waiting for me to call for His grace.

With God’s help and the support of those whom I love, I welcome the changes that August will bring. I welcome the first-day-jitters and bashful introductions. I embrace the inevitable missteps, and the growth that will follow. I cherish the risk and the vulnerability of the newness to come, the joys and the challenges I cannot yet foresee.

This August, my little world will get a little bit bigger. Wish me luck!

Read other articles by Shea Rowell

Read Past Editions of Four Years at the Mount